Today marks the debut of a new feature here on the blog, called “What should I eat while I watch that movie?” These aren’t movie reviews or re-caps, per se, although I will tell you what I thought of the movie, because talking about movies is a thing I love to do. Mostly it’s a helpful guide to pairing drinks, food and the occasional prescription drug along with a film, either to enhance the experience of watching it or to soothe yourself from the emotional fallout.
NOTE: SPOILERS! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! Most of the movies we’ll be covering here are at least a couple of years old, so I’m going to assume you’ve already seen them or heard about them.
Released in 2010 and starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine is a nearly forensic examination of the dissolution of a marriage. It is so realistic, so achingly true to the way things between people can fall apart, how love can twist in on itself and we can hurt and disappoint each other, that it actually makes you want to NOT marry Ryan Gosling.
I am certain there are people who live lives of contentment. People who look around at the things they’ve chosen and think, “Perfect. This is EXACTLY what I meant.” But for the rest of us, it’s not so simple. Life has a way of letting us down, we have a way of letting ourselves down, in ways large and small. Missed opportunities, a litany of what-ifs? Irredeemable mistakes. All those could haves and should haves and might have beens. Maybe things won’t ever fall apart for us as spectacularly as they do for the couple in Blue Valentine (let’s hope not), but to watch it is to see all our small concessions and compromises and disappointments writ large. And it hurts.
And so you ask, “What should I eat while I watch Blue Valentine?”
The answer is, a large bowl of buttered noodles and a Klonopin. If noodles aren’t your thing, you can substitute a large bowl of farina with butter, milk and salt. The Klonopin, however, is non-negotiable.
Want to know what to eat with that movie? Leave a comment here or send me an email at email@example.com and I’ll suggest a pairing for you!
OK, so I’m just a LITTLE late with a comment, but then again, the advice as to what to eat for this movie is also a little late, and, I must believe, a joke. I mean, klonopin?
Or maybe it’s not a joke.
Having not yet seen the movie, I’ll take both sides.
1) If the direction to take Klonopin to watch this movie a joke, then it must be noted that Klonopin–or clonazepam (the -pam suffix is important, as there are a lot of Pam’s around), is used to prevent and control seizures, such as epilepsy. It treats panic attacks. It calms the brain and nerves.
Dosage is 1.5 mg a day, 3 times a day, for .5 mg each time. I take that much to get to sleep. It makes me woozy. .25 can make me woozy, too.
So with this info, why this pam? Cuz at the very least it alters one’s consciousness, and calms one down.
Must be a powerful movie.
2) After all that, if taking Klonopin to watch this movie is indeed a joke, I now have to have a joke. Here’s two:
Seen Movie Person: “Yeah, it’s a powerful movie that has lots of emotions which one does NOT want to bring up, and so to allay panic while watching, take klonopin.”
Not Seen Movie Person: “It’s that tough of a movie, eh?”
“Yep, that tough.”
Not Seen Movie Person pauses for a bit, eyes staring off into space. Seen Movie Person says, “Look, I just happen to have some klonopin here with me, right now.”
“Wow, must be a tough film.”
“Yep. Sure is. Follow these instructions to the letter: break this one pill up into quarters–and I mean that–about 15 minutes before you start the movie. Take too much and you’ll fall asleep.”
“One pill? Wow, strong drug.”
“Yep: strong movie.”
“Uh, Doc? I’m going to watch Blue Valen…”
“I’ll write you a scrip for one klonopin.”
“Thanks.” [Starts to tear up.]
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