If you’re here because you read my ‘Modern Love’ essay in The New York Times, welcome!

That essay tells the story of loving my husband through severe depression and electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). It captures a specific moment in time—a surreal visit to the Apple store, a locked psych ward, fear, devotion—but writing it did something larger for me.

It helped me see patterns I’ve been living out since childhood. The instinct to hold it together. The reflex to hang on when letting go would be the smarter move. The pride in being the one who can take the hits and keep functioning. The belief that competence will keep me safe.

Putting this story on the page forced me to examine where those patterns began, and whether they still serve me. Speaking this truth aloud was a liberation. It was a quiet but definitive act of stepping out of hiding.

I’m currently at work on a memoir that goes deeper into these themes: endurance, visibility, love, inherited silence, and what it means to stop postponing your real life.

I’m deeply grateful to Jonathan for giving me his full permission and support to tell our story. It’s not a small thing to let someone write about your most vulnerable season, and I don’t take that lightly.

More to come. Thank you for being here.